Why I Think Relationships Are Pointless
To me, being single makes me feel a lot more appreciated and happier. Not once have I been in a relationship where it is fifty-fifty, and I feel like I can fully trust the person I'm with.
Time and time again I have been stabbed in the back and lied to about the smallest things, but it still hurts. I have been used by many guys for bets and just for a body count, and none of these times I understood what was happening until it was too late. Boys have lied to me about where they are even when I have proof about their whereabouts and about other girls they have lined up for when they are through with me.
Boys have a certain way of making me feel depreciated throughout my day. If I clean up around the house, do dishes, laundry, or try to come home early to see them I don't get any sort of thank you or recognition. When I try to ask for help if I am busy, then they make a big deal about it and ask why I can't. I am still in school and busy with homework so I don't have all the time in the world to clean and stay on top of things. If I need help, I need help. Also, if I am having a bad day, I don't want to come home or spend time around someone who is only going to tell me to get over it or suck it up. The way to handle it is to talk about my day with me and help me get through the rest of it, not make it worse.
Guys also don't listen at all. A couple of years ago I was with a guy who I gave the task of making sure I got home on time because the weather was starting to get bad. Let's say that I needed to be home by ten, so I started walking out the door at 9:30. When I got to the front door he comes up to me and gives me a hug, but then tries to start a conversation to get me to stay longer. I proceeded to explain to him that I had to go because it was going to take me longer to get home, so finally he gave in and walked me out to my car. When we got to my car, I started it then gave him another hug goodbye but couldn't shut my door because he was blocking it. For ten minutes all he did was stand there in the snow and stare at me until I had had enough of it and yelled at him until he went back inside. When I got home, my mom asked me if I was okay because he texted her when I left saying that I needed to be checked on because I was upset and he didn't know why. What bothered me was he knew that he was the reason I was upset, and he made me late getting home.
If I ever wanted to feel like I was dependent on someone, then I would stay in a relationship. One person in a relationship is always waiting on the other person to confirm plans, call or text back, or to tell them how their day was or how they are feeling. If we don't get any of these responses, then we wonder if we said or did something wrong and anxiety sets in. Also, if they respond in a way we didn't expect, then it shakes us. You may not feel it up front, but deep down those voices are talking, and it makes you dependent on the other person's answer.
Being single is the ultimate independent route. There isn't someone asking you where you are or what you are doing throughout the day. You don't have to confirm plans with anyone or make sure it's okay if you go out that night instead of staying home. Being single also gives you the chance to love yourself before anyone else. This is really important because most people fall in love with another without figuring out who they are or what their purpose is in life. If you find self love, then you will feel happy no matter what you do, the choices you make, or who you are with.
Take it from a person who has been cheated on three times, used as a bet, and abused to tell you in a blog post rant that I think relationships are pointless. Don't get me wrong, if you are in a wonderful relationship with respect and are happy, then ignore this post completely. Finding the right one is difficult and may have some ups and downs, but someone is out there. For the people who are not happy and feel like an option, then it is best to move on. No one deserves to sacrifice their happiness for another when it isn't their life you are living, but your own.
Time and time again I have been stabbed in the back and lied to about the smallest things, but it still hurts. I have been used by many guys for bets and just for a body count, and none of these times I understood what was happening until it was too late. Boys have lied to me about where they are even when I have proof about their whereabouts and about other girls they have lined up for when they are through with me.
Boys have a certain way of making me feel depreciated throughout my day. If I clean up around the house, do dishes, laundry, or try to come home early to see them I don't get any sort of thank you or recognition. When I try to ask for help if I am busy, then they make a big deal about it and ask why I can't. I am still in school and busy with homework so I don't have all the time in the world to clean and stay on top of things. If I need help, I need help. Also, if I am having a bad day, I don't want to come home or spend time around someone who is only going to tell me to get over it or suck it up. The way to handle it is to talk about my day with me and help me get through the rest of it, not make it worse.
Guys also don't listen at all. A couple of years ago I was with a guy who I gave the task of making sure I got home on time because the weather was starting to get bad. Let's say that I needed to be home by ten, so I started walking out the door at 9:30. When I got to the front door he comes up to me and gives me a hug, but then tries to start a conversation to get me to stay longer. I proceeded to explain to him that I had to go because it was going to take me longer to get home, so finally he gave in and walked me out to my car. When we got to my car, I started it then gave him another hug goodbye but couldn't shut my door because he was blocking it. For ten minutes all he did was stand there in the snow and stare at me until I had had enough of it and yelled at him until he went back inside. When I got home, my mom asked me if I was okay because he texted her when I left saying that I needed to be checked on because I was upset and he didn't know why. What bothered me was he knew that he was the reason I was upset, and he made me late getting home.
If I ever wanted to feel like I was dependent on someone, then I would stay in a relationship. One person in a relationship is always waiting on the other person to confirm plans, call or text back, or to tell them how their day was or how they are feeling. If we don't get any of these responses, then we wonder if we said or did something wrong and anxiety sets in. Also, if they respond in a way we didn't expect, then it shakes us. You may not feel it up front, but deep down those voices are talking, and it makes you dependent on the other person's answer.
Being single is the ultimate independent route. There isn't someone asking you where you are or what you are doing throughout the day. You don't have to confirm plans with anyone or make sure it's okay if you go out that night instead of staying home. Being single also gives you the chance to love yourself before anyone else. This is really important because most people fall in love with another without figuring out who they are or what their purpose is in life. If you find self love, then you will feel happy no matter what you do, the choices you make, or who you are with.
Take it from a person who has been cheated on three times, used as a bet, and abused to tell you in a blog post rant that I think relationships are pointless. Don't get me wrong, if you are in a wonderful relationship with respect and are happy, then ignore this post completely. Finding the right one is difficult and may have some ups and downs, but someone is out there. For the people who are not happy and feel like an option, then it is best to move on. No one deserves to sacrifice their happiness for another when it isn't their life you are living, but your own.
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